Changing the Face of Christianity Introduction

We recently received a letter from a “reasonable” non-theist, that we thought was worth sharing with our readers. When I say “reasonable”, I mean he is simply sharing his opinions on the topics we are passionate about.

He isn’t telling us we are wrong or stupid, he isn’t suggesting we throw away our Bible, and he isn’t attempting to discredit our beliefs. He is just sharing HIS perspective on the issues.

I think there are things we can learn from him about negative Christian stereotypes and how WE create them. It’s also important to note that he doesn’t claim to represent all of atheism/agnosticism/non-theism, similar to how our site doesn’t pretend to represent ALL of Christianity or Christian opinion.

If you choose to comment on this article, and we hope you do, PLEASE remember this is NOT a debate. Instead, let’s read/listen with an open mind and a humble heart. I encourage you to share what you can relate to and most importantly…what WE can learn from his perspective. Now, his open letter to Christians:

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Open Letter to Christians from a Reasonable Non-Theist

Author: Anonymous for family privacy concerns we respect.

You are right about the negative stereotypes associated with Christianity in secular America.  Some of it is deserved, some of it is undeserved.  While I don’t agree with some of what you say on your site, I do believe I grasp the spirit of your intentions.

I have a confession:  Last week, when Congresswoman Giffords and several others were shot in Arizona, the first thing I said to my wife was “I bet the shooter is a conservative fundamentalist.”  My thoughts were wrong, however private I kept them.  Regardless of his theology, or lack there of, the man is clearly insane.  Clearly, you are not a violent fundamentalist, so this isn’t an apology.

Equal Rights and Freedoms

I understand the difference between hateful religious groups like (WBC) Westboro Baptist Church, “The Family” (who are way more influential and dangerous than WBC, and well intentioned Christians such as yourself.  And you as a self professed former Atheist, I hope you understand that we (non-theists) are not intent on eliminating Christians or religious people, or taking away their rights.  On the contrary.  We don’t want your rights threatened anymore than we want our own threatened.  If one man’s rights are denied, then all of our rights are vulnerable.

This is where I see the biggest gap between Christians and Atheists.  If freedom of religion were taken away, and you were not allowed to congregate in a church, or pray to your god, most atheists I know would have a serious problem with that, and we would willingly stand up for your rights, even though we think your beliefs are incorrect.

On the other hand, it seems that Christians are very fast to contribute to the denial of our own rights to not acknowledge a god.  You won’t see many Christians fighting for separation of church and state.  You will be much more likely to see Christians redefining the phrase to fall in step with their beliefs.  This is nothing unusual for Christians, as Christians seem pretty consistent in forming an argument around a predetermined conclusion:  “God is the source of all that’s good, therefore nothing that promotes god can be bad,” or “God loves his children, so there’s nothing wrong with a public school teacher leading the class in a prayer.”

Prayer in School-Be Consistent

On the issue of school prayer, there is not an atheist I know who feels that kids don’t have the right to private prayer with their god.  It is a different matter entirely when a public school teacher leads the class in a public prayer.  This is wrong, and it’s equal to the state promoting one religion over the other.  I think you can probably agree with this.

However, during a friend’s first day teaching at her new public school this past summer, the Principal decided that he would lead the teachers in an open prayer.  Being that we’re in North Carolina, I’m fairly certain that most of the staff is Christian of one denomination or another, but my friend is agnostic.  She was afraid of objecting to the prayer, and I can’t blame her.  Her job was hard to find, and she didn’t want to put a target on herself.  But none of her fellow Christian teachers seemed to mind in the least.

I am willing to bet that not a single one of them saw anything wrong with what they were doing.  However, had the Principal led the school in an Islamic prayer, my friend would have been equally as uncomfortable with the prayer, and your Christian teachers would have had a fit.  This type of mentality, this interruption of consistency and reason is what bothers Atheists about Christians the most.

Belief or Disbelief in God is Important

That being said, it’s in our differences that we see our similarities.  While we can disagree on the existence of god, it is quite apparent that our feelings and thoughts on god are very, very important to us.  You will be hard pressed to find a person who claims to be an atheist who hasn’t spent a considerable amount of time deciding that god isn’t real.  It is a major journey in one’s life to truly come to theological peace.  I never arrived at peace with my theology until I decided that god wasn’t real.

Former Christian, Now Atheist (non-theist)

I grew up attending church, sometimes 4 times a week (twice on Sunday, Wednesday night for bible study, Friday night for youth group).  I attended Wesleyan, Baptist, Methodist, and Christian Missionary Alliance churches at different times regularly throughout my life.  Wesleyan until I was about 9 years old, Alliance until I was 13, and then bouncing between Methodist and Baptist (because our Methodist church didn’t have a youth group) until half way through college.  I didn’t “lose my faith” so much as I found myself, and I found reason.  I found that I could not reconcile my skepticism with faith.  I am happy accepting this.  Happier than I was when I was struggling with something that made no sense to me.  I’m now living a life that makes sense to me.

Grandfather (Wesleyan Minister) Was Great Influence

My grandfather was a Wesleyan minister, and he was and continues to be one of the greatest influences on how I live my life.  When I was a kid, my grandfather represented Jesus to me, and even though he’s been dead for 20 years, I still hear people say that about him.  He was a great man.  And he was a great man because he was a servant.  He was kind, he was gentle, he was loving, he was giving, and he was genuine.  He wasn’t a perfect man, but he was as close as I’ve ever known.  He was also a reasonable man.

He was sincerely pro-life by the definition of the word, and not by the socially accepted meaning of it.  By that I mean that he truly believed that EVERY life was precious, not just the life of an unborn baby, or a person in a vegetative state.  He decided that to be TRULY pro-life, one must oppose the death penalty.  In the red letters in the gospels, Jesus gives no exceptions when he tells people to be gentle and kind.  He doesn’t say “be kind to all, except for people who cut you off in traffic.”  Or, “treat everyone well, unless they were convicted of murder.”  To me, my grandpa represented this better than anybody I’ve known.  He lived it.

Not Many Christians To Admire Anymore

Since he’s left my life, I look at most Christians and I see people who are looking for justification to condemn, or just a massive cluster of exceptions and faulty ideas of what love is.  I hardly see anything I admire anymore.  I see character traits that I’ve fought my entire life to remove from myself, to improve myself away from.  I don’t see the love and the gentleness and thoughtfulness that defined my grandpa.  Maybe I’m naive, but I expect people who claim to have “the answer” to live a life that’s worth striving towards.

What I see instead is justification of exclusion, and often celebration of Prosperity Theology.  What we perceive from the outside is that you’re saying to us, and to everyone who isn’t already in your group “we know you’re flawed, we know you’re a sinner, we are too, join us and we’ll help you find salvation.”  What I’m not hearing or seeing is “we love you, and we care about who you are and we want to know you and what you have to say.”  Christians aren’t interested in what anybody has to say, they’re only interested in telling everyone “how it is.”  That’s not conversation, and it’s rarely helpful.

Evangelicals often celebrate the most cynical pundits and celebrities who sound and act the opposite of gentle, kind, and genuine.  Sarah Palin criticizes Michelle Obama for promoting healthy exercise and eating habits in children (a Presidentially encouraged idea since 1956), and the next thing I know I’m hearing conservative Christians praise and support her crazy words about how “the government can’t tell me how to raise my kids.”

Glenn Beck villanizes half of the American population, speaks about apocalyptic-like hard times, and how everybody should be prepared and purchase a product that he advertises called “Food Insurance.”  The next thing you know, the Mormon owned company “Food Insurance” gets a massive boost in sales by the Evangelical community, thanks to Beck’s fear mongering sales pitch (btw, you can assemble the contents of a Food Insurance package yourself at about 1/3 of the cost).  I’m saying this as somebody who doesn’t like Keith Olbermann either.  These aren’t good people.

A History Lesson (Segregation, Slavery, Gay Marriage)

Do you know that many preachers and Christians stood against integration in the south, or of abolishment of slavery, only now to be looked at shamefully?  How many Christians today would proudly take up either position?  There were no new books of the bible written between then and now, it’s the same book.  And today we have Christians who proudly support Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and who proudly “stand up” against gay marriage with the whole “what’s next, we let a guy marry a turtle” slippery slope argument. Thirty years down the road, these opponents of gay rights are going to be looked at the same way as the racist segregationists.  Your grand children are going to come home after civics class and ask you if you were for or against gay rights.

Are you going to say “well, it was complicated,” when it will be abundantly clear to you that gays with equal rights doesn’t hurt society?  In fairness, there were also plenty of Christians and churches who supported civil rights all along.  I know the Wesleyan Church has always stood against slavery and mistreatment of African Americans.  But the point is, several denominations of Christians were absolutely wrong, and they did so much damage to so many people.  That fact still hasn’t changed, and it continues today.

Conclusion

Anyhow, aside from the fact that we simply don’t believe in a god, those are many of the reasons why we have a problem with Christianity. Dan Merchant, the creator of “Lord, Save Us From Your Followers“, seems to have a pretty decent idea of how to be a good Christian.  We both seem to agree that being a good Christian starts by striving to be a good person. Have you seen Dan’s film, or read anything by him?  I would highly recommend it to you. He’s an excellent example of a Christian who is really striving to live like Christ.

Thanks for your time, and best of luck to you. I certainly appreciate what you’re trying to do.

CFC Response:

Thanks SO much for sharing your story and experience in and out of the Christian faith. You raise some very important things for us to consider and work through. And yes, we love Dan Merchant’s work. His book/DVD is on our Recommended Reading List. His movie is also an “instant play” on Netflix…so anyone with Netflix can watch it now! Thanks again and we hope you continue to engage with us as we continue to engage with non-Christians and repair the damage that has caused so much animosity and mistrust between us. Peace to you and your family.