If you feel like getting into a heated debate or argument, just mention the topic of homosexuality and the Church’s position on it, and you will most assuredly find yourself smack dab in the middle of one. It is one of, if not THE most divisive issues in America today, and I would venture as far as to say that more people are kept from the Gospel because of this than anything else. How did this happen? Why homosexuality in-particular ? And as Christians how should we respond?
Politically Correct
What began in America as a well intended desire to respect and love others regardless of their religion, ethnicity, and other differences, has now morphed into fear of man in the form of “political correctness.” Tolerance has slowly become the acceptance and reshaping of immorality. As a result, our culture is now framed in such a way that to even hint that a homosexual is in the need of repentance is translated as hatred, and so we find ourselves a people both confused and divided.
There are so many different sinful lifestyles that do not create this sort of outrage when addressed. So what is it then about homosexuality that is so different? I believe that it is an issue of “false identity.”
False Identity
Now, I am a heterosexual woman, but I do not identify as such. If you asked me to describe myself, I would not include my sexual preference in that description. That is not the case, however, for most people who call themselves homosexual.
So what happens when a loving and well intended Christian tells someone that their homosexuality is a sin? It is translated to the individual as, “YOU are sin…the very essence of who you are is sin.” That is very different from being told that you are a sinner in need of a savior.
Let me give you an example of what I mean by this: I personally struggle with addiction; I might even call myself an addict, but I would never joyfully embrace this as being the core of who I am. I would never yield to this temptation and call it my life’s purpose. I understand it as something to overcome.
So, if upon seeing my pain, someone were to lovingly come alongside and call my addiction out as evidence that there was something missing in my life while pointing me to a Loving Savior, I may then be able to receive what was being said. If you told me that being “Laura” were a sin, however, I wouldn’t hear another word that you said because I would feel that I was being singled out based on WHO I was rather than the universal issue of sin.
As a society, we have all agreed that addiction leads to death and that it is something to be fought off and overcome. Homosexuality is not seen in that light, however, so confronting someone based on this issue alone is not received as being loving or helpful in any way.
Confronting Sin
The Bible teaches that when confronting sin, “the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness” 2 Timothy 2:24-25. With the way that our culture is positioned currently with our words coming across as only hateful, this seems an impossible feat. So what are we to do?
2 Timothy 2:25-26, goes on to say that, “GOD may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil…”
Did you notice who is doing the work here? Who initiated the repentance? Who is the teacher in this scenario? God Himself! The issue then for the Christian, is distraction! The enemy would have YOU also believe that homosexuals are identified by their sexual preference. They’re not! The issue is sin. The issue always has been and always will be, SIN.
He will Transform
I believe that we should continue to steadfastly pray over our country, vote when there are elections, and I truly believe that we should shed this heavy yoke of judgment that we have taken upon ourselves
So am I suggesting that the solution is to pretend that homosexuality doesn’t exist and just entrust it into God’s Hands? No, not any more than I believe that we should ignore any other person or group of people who are in need of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
I believe that we should continue to steadfastly pray over our country, vote when there are elections, and I truly believe that we should shed this heavy yoke of judgment that we have taken upon ourselves when we became so fixated on this issue above all others.
I believe that we should, instead, love on our people struggling with this identity crisis, plant seeds all the while and patiently wait for the Lord to bring forth the harvest in His appointed time.
Excellent analysis of the issue. It is how one defines oneself. From my conversations with people who have same-sex attraction and articles, this is a definition based on emotion and experience. The common phrase is ‘I have always felt this way’ or ‘this is who I am’. In other words – the person is stating who they are is based on feelings and actions instead of their intrinsic being, and so they respond (react) based on those fleeting concepts, but when digging a little deeper it is really a cry of pain because living based on one’s feelings or emotions is very unstable. You have no anchor. If we call Christ Lord and Savior then we are new creations and define ourselves in Him. We are to ‘throw off’ the old man and put on the new creation. This is a very individual and personal act that says we no longer define who we are but we define ourselves by what God intended (His image). This is the anchor Christ offers. The stability of no longer living a life on our emotions but a life growing towards perfection through the work of God in our lives.
Great article, Laura, particularly your point about embracing this sin as identity, and the difficulty of then being declared Sin itself as a result.
Thomas, exactly! I can attest to those emotionally driven pitfalls in my own life as well! As a Christian, I believe my biggest hindrance has been following my emotions at times rather than God’s Truths…realizing this has also led to much victory. Thanks for y’all’s kind feedback 🙂 -Laura
Laura, let me start by saying your article is excellent. Your point about typical discussions with Christians and folks struggling with homosexuality is pretty right on. But there is more. I am a simple heterosexual guy. I like simple. Unfortunately, homosexuality can be fairly complex. For example, homosexuality can actually be a hormonal or genetic disposition. Males eating soy has been shown to alter their hormonal balance, and depending on age, can cause more aggressive behavior in adolescents and older, and cause more effeminate behavior in preteens leading to homosexual tendencies. Homosexuality can be entered into or embraced when using alcohol or drugs, particularly when done as an ignorant preteen, high schooler, or collegiate partying where in each case the partying/experimentation includes sexual experimentation. Someone enters the party straight, has their mind and inhibitions altered, perhaps begins by engaging in straight sex and is encouraged to experiment with gay sex. The physical feelings are good. When the party is over the person is reeling and is now confused; they were sure they were straight, but now, maybe not. Then there is the whole matter of abuse by others. Tammy Bruce, Fox News contributor and former president of the Los Angeles chapter of NOW, and openly gay, but opposes gay activism, stated in an interview in the LA Times in, like, 1999 that what the gay activists NEVER talk about is abuse and that roughly 90% of folks entering into homosexuality do so because of being abused. My gay next door neighbor and I were talking one day and I shared with him that I grew up in a violent alcoholic family and things related to it. He was completely bewildered and asked how I did not become a drug addict, alcoholic, and/or homosexual. His question speaks volumes about the abuse side of homosexuality that remains beneath surface. I was able to share with him that God kept his arms around me and helped me get through it. The issue of identity is huge. It is not just sexual identity, it is person identity. Look at any gay pride parade or celebration. It is imperative to see the identity issue in its larger context; for example, in Roman times the government had to make it against the law to engage in Bacchus celebrations. The celebrations which were started probably by female homosexuals were eventually taken over by male homosexuals and over time anyone who came to the celebrations had to engage in homosexual activities or they would be killed by those at the party. So the Roman government just shut the whole thing down. Today, thanks to modern technology folks are changing their actual gender physically. Laura is absolutely correct about the identity issue. I just wanted to expand that thought. I have found that typically gay folks have no problem revealing they are gay somewhere in a conversation. I have also found that by honestly listening and caring about the person why they are gay is more important than getting on them about being gay. Do not fall into the trap of saying that homosexuality is normal, it is not. Common sense is being thrown out the window. When confronted with God’s love, every person (including homosexuals) must respond one way or another. Also, we are commanded to stand for what is right with regard to society, even when we are in the minority, or the majority but are entrapped in stupid governmental legislations. Go to the Lord and ask for wisdom and his will in every situation. My son worked at one of the movie studios here in LA was and confronted by homosexuals everyday. He had a great way of dealing with the situation. He would tell those coming on to him, “Look, I love you. I really do love you. I have absolutely no desire to have sex with you. I prefer a woman.” The person(s) he said this to never knew quite how to respond. They were not expecting to hear that they were loved and that sex had nothing to do with it.
Tim, thank you for adding all of that! A lot of very interesting information that reinforces that there are just so many variables to consider when it comes to this topic! In one of my counseling classes at Liberty, there was a Christian man who had led a homosexual lifestyle for many years and advised us on how to approach this correctly and lovingly. He talked about one of the common mistakes that heterosexual males will make when meeting a homosexual man, is to keep physical touch at a distance. He believed based on his own experience and the experience of others that he had talked with, that usually the LACK of natural and healthy physical touch by their father growing up often led them to seek it in ways that led to experimenting…and so it was actually of greater importance to receive it in healthy ways as they began healing… and vice versa with women who grew up without that parental intimacy. Anyway, I found that very interesting as well
Hi Laura… Sorry I couldn’t respond more timely. This is actually a response to Brad’s columns too. There seems to be a lot of confusion about homosexuality. Your comment above about “there are just so many variables to consider” can be for many a dangerous trap. Just because homosexuality has complexities does not mean it has to be confusing. Believe it or not, talking about sexuality and God is not a “religious” discussion. God has never been a religious object of worship. He does not care about religion, or being the focus of a religion. Being the Creator, he is absolutely interested in history. He is the center point of the history of his creation. He started history and he will end it. One of the things we, and by we I mean those who belong to Christ, must be very cautious of is doing all the wrong things for all the right reasons. That includes me too. The events that took place when we were first created are of primary importance to the discussion. Eden cannot be left out of the discussion. To put a finer point on it: No Adam and Eve, no reason for Jesus. Adam, son of God by creation. Jesus, God’s only begotten (born) son. The rest of us, God’s son’s and daughters by adoption through Jesus. My comment about doing all the wrong things for all the right reasons can be easily seen in Eve. I’m not picking on Eve or women, men do the same things. But she is an easy to see example, she did all the wrong things for all the right reasons, and there were negative consequences that impacted all of creation. Satan played her. She was not told directly by God not to the eat the fruit of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, Adam told her, so Satan tells her, “God did not say.” Eve was not a bad person. She was not an evil person. She had absolutely no evil intent. None. She actually thought she was doing a good thing for her and Adam. Satan, the beautiful sparkly serpent, convinced her that God (ironically, her Creator) did not have her’s or Adam’s best interest at heart. She was led to believe that their Creator was out to cheat them, keeping them from being all they could be. It was a lie. It was THE LIE then. It is still THE LIE today. (Listen to discussions about homosexuality.) From what we can see in the account, God created Adam and Eve for Freedom. Complete and total Freedom. What is the fruit they were told not to eat? Think about it. What was the one command God gave to them after they were created? “Be fruitful and multiply.” When I am asked questions about homosexuality by groups I jokingly suggest that we all get naked so we can have a the visual right in front us while we discuss about what we all hold in common regarding our sexuality. For example: if we take a heterosexual man and woman and a homosexual man and woman and stand them in front of a group and ask the group to identify which is hetero and which is homo, the group won’t be able to, they are indistinguishable. Is their physical makeup different in any way? No. So what can we say is normal and not normal? Not bad. Not evil. Normal and not normal. The human race was physically changed at the time they were banished from Eden. From that point on their bodies would age, suffer diseases, hunger and die. Their bodies would be imperfect. They exchanged the glory of incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man. The makeup of their bodies took on the physical form and attributes of the animals. It seems we use normal and not normal all the time for everything except sexuality issues. Try running a temp of 103. Normal is 98.6. At any time is it okay to say that 103 can be considered normal? Try making 103 normal and watch what happens. At issue is COMMON SENSE – that which we all hold in common. That’s why I jokingly say let’s all get naked when we talk about sexuality. What was God’s intent, his purpose for our bodies for us at the beginning? That must be our standard for normal; even in our fallen state. And that means we must be proactively living in God’s grace through Christ. There are two sides to our relationship with God and we must be taking responsibility for our side of the relationship with our Creator; with all our baggage, the good, the bad and the ugly. “My grace is sufficient for you.” The focal point is always right in front of us. 1.You shall love the lord God. 2. You shall love your neighbor as you love yourself. We cannot have 2 without 1. And we cannot call something normal when it is not normal by our Creator’s standard. Again, not bad, not evil, just not normal. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.
You make a lot of really good points (both on this subject and on lots of others!
Thanks, Laura. I all works together. =)
Do you have any idea how creepy that sounds? –atehist who happens to be lesbian
Hi Atthis… You took the time to read and make a comment. Could you take a couple of more minutes and expand on your thought? What did you find creepy? Was your comment referring to the original article or the comments made after the article? Or is the whole discussion creepy?
I agree a great article and food for thought on how we receive people who are living a sin and not a life. Each of us had sin in our lives but the sin did not define us. With the new heart we received when we confessed Jesus as our Lord we were changed to be a son of God. The people who are carrying this sin for a life can be changed also, if we Love them as Jesus loved us, He will make all things new.
Amen!
Not sure if this will get a reply anymore but here goes: Why are we applying the stories of a few people we have met to every other person? A few people mentioned gays who had left the “lifestyle”. What does that mean? At any rate, why do we take a bias towards those few people who say they are no longer gay…. and cover our sensory organs (NAH NAH NANA NA NA) while we ignore all the people who couldn’t be what these people claim to be. Some gays just couldn’t keep lying any longer that their attractions had changed or that in fact their life was tolerable actively being supported to not have the same relationships straight people have (not that they are always perfect or ’till death but ones where if it didn’t matter to anyone who you married or if your peers or parents didn’t like them you would still be with them because that love matters). Other gay people didn’t make it to marriages that fell apart (not for being unfaithful with another member of the opposite sex, but a member of the same sex…. if Jesus had changed them, presumably not making them perfect but at least making them heterosexual, why did the adultery that ruined these marriages happen to be homosexual?). If there is such a thing as an ex-gay, are there ex-gays who fully support equal (and applicable) rights for gay people, just as a straight person like myself finds no contradiction in supporting their rights? (the law may one day allow that another man and I could marry, but how would that be applicable to I, having never had any sexual feelings and romantic longing for my own sex? However, since two consenting adult humans can marry in this possible future, a woman and I could choose to enter a marriage. Gays and straights should have equal and applicable rights) Whatever Jesus would do with these people who possibly sin (I cannot agree with what you call “celebration”, I assume you mean pride parades and coming out, being a sin. The first is political protest in response to the mistreatment that Christianity has made “normal” before the protesters became adult individuals who can actually make a difference for those still growing up as they did. The second serves a similar purpose, but is on a personal level. The person coming out, if they get any news, is usually someone well liked and already known for strong character and success. This person is no longer avoiding relationship questions and lying to your face as they tear themselves up inside just to keep you comfortable. They are letting everyone know how heteronormativity in our everyday speech and actions and the enforcement to conform to that is insensitive when you give it your all and can’t. They are also letting much younger gay kids know that, “your life isn’t a cliché ‘lifestyle'”) no one has control over. If all their life was conformed to Jesus (at least as much as your own or someone even more serious than yourself) save for they lived their lives and raised kids through great-grandkids as people of the same sex committed to one another within the omnipresent sight of Jesus, or even if they don’t believe in Jesus and look at Christian’s morals the same way many Christians look with suspicion at President Obama (because, if he is a Muslim, these particular individuals think that’s a BIG deal), who are we to “call sin, sin,” or in other words, “because I am sure you are sinning, that must necessarily mean Jesus will hold your head beneath a lake of fire and mercilessly never let the suffering stop,” when you do not know Jesus intentions for any one individual’s eternity nor if married gay people is a thing “unclean in itself,” Still the best quote I have found about this issue (I am paraphrasing for emphasis. Also, this has more to do with whether being gay is a choice, but the last part could definitely apply to all the practices and speech like your own anti-gay doctrine has lead to. Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/on-faith/wp/2013/06/27/after-doma-the-fading-future-of-religious-opposition-to-same-sex-marriage/): leibowde84 6/28/2013 2:14 PM EDT “Either way, I don’t think it is appropriate to ask for evidence of homosexuality being ingrained unless you have some kind of evidence, beyond speculation of course, that it is not… If the only reason is to make sense of religious teaching, then I would say that is pretty darn unchristian of you.” That sums up perfectly how I have come to feel about such articles as these and all the anti-gay doctrine has led to (namely a large number of people eventually standing up and asking questions about all the holes in this doctrine that Jesus supposedly breathed. No citizen of the USA should be shamed for requesting freedom as long as that freedom does not lessen the freedom of others). ” If the only reason [we continue to talk about gay people as if their entire lives together are any worse in the sight of Jesus than Christians getting married when Jesus breathed that Paul said he would rather they be celibate like he] is to MAKE SENSE of religious teaching, then I would say that is pretty darn unchristian of you.”